


Home World

by CTwentyFour



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, F/F, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-03-07 21:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13444083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CTwentyFour/pseuds/CTwentyFour
Summary: During Steven's time at Homeworld, Peridot managed to keep Lapis relatively calm. However, since learning about the events that had occurred there, Lapis had decided she couldn't risk staying on Earth. Though she almost left with her, Peridot thought it best to stay and fight for Earth, and tried to convince her barnmate to stay. Lapis didn't agree.Now, Peridot was left on Earth and Lapis was somewhere in space with the barn.How would the pair of them deal with their time apart?





	1. Green Gem, Green Thumbs

**Author's Note:**

> This story refers to events of, and takes place after, the episode "Raising the barn". 
> 
> Also refers to events in "Back to the Kindergarten" and there will be a brief reference to "Jungle Moon" in a future chapter.

Lapis left. Just like that.

What?

Not only did she fly away to some distant planet: She took the barn with her. The whole bloody thing. Uprooted. Carried away in a giant water sphere.

What?

She turned her back to Peridot, refusing her suggestion. Stay on Earth? How silly the green gem was to think that would’ve worked. How stupid. Idiotic.

Sigh.

Peridot couldn’t tear her eyes away. Her pupils were fixated on the peach pink sky. Specifically on the point she had watched the blue gem’s silhouette fly away, shrinking until she was no longer visible. Maybe Lapis would think twice and turn around. Maybe Peridot was imagining the whole ordeal. Or just maybe if she stared hard enough, she could draw her back.

She would’ve happily stayed there all day in the field. Watching. Waiting. Steven, however, was there with her. After witnessing the sudden departure, he knew better than to leave her staring at the sky. He offered support by placing a hand on her back as he suggested going back with him. So, with Pumpkin in arms, Peridot made her way back to the temple with Steven.

Yes. That would’ve been a senseless idea. Standing in an empty field, staring up at the sky. There was no point. Lapis wasn’t coming back.

Owch.

Steven’s bathroom. Her old room. How nostalgic.

Though it was a small room, it was enough for a small gem and her pumpkin. The red shower curtain still hung from the rail, embellished with yellow stars and planets. It was good to see the damage Peridot had previously caused was rectified. The cream tiled floors were immaculately polished: Peridot would have to watch her step. Slipping on the tiles did not cross her now busy mind, however. There were also many small objects in the bathroom that Peridot now recognised as harmless human products and tools.

It hadn’t changed. She had. A lot.

Back then, she knew little about Earth. It was just some failed gem colony, complete with a ticking time bomb of destruction inside.

How wrong she was.

Steven had provided her with a puffy blanket, which he had draped in the bathtub. This would be her new bed. Not that she needed a bed, as sleep was unnecessary for gems. Instead, it was somewhere comfortable for her to relax and rest when she wanted.

She laid back in the bathtub, looking unfocused at the wood panelling that formed the ceiling. It acted as a clean canvas for her to display the images that began to fill her mind.

Miles of corn.

Why was that the first image that came to mind? She didn’t know, but she went with it. That was fun. She got to ride around on a tractor, a human device used for farming. It was not much different from being a kindergartener. That was essentially farming, although they didn’t get the colony of corn they wanted. In fact, they ended up with something better: A cheerful, round pet pumpkin.

Pumpkin lay curled up on the bathmat. How cute she was.

In a way, she was back to where she started. Life before the barn. Before Lapis. Why did that feel so peculiar? Hundreds of years she’d lived without either. She had never needed them. Her life was just fine.

…

Why did she have to fly off like that? With the barn? Without her?

Yes, she wanted to stay on Earth. Well, she wanted the both of them to stay on Earth. Together. Yet, she wanted more for Lapis to be happy. If that meant flying off to some distant lonely star to share eternity together… Well it would be worth it. For her.

Lapis had been through a lot. Peridot knew that. Perhaps too well, as she often ignored her own emotions in favour of Lapis’. She was unaware of how much of a problem that would become. If she focused on helping her friend she might get better. Lapis needed a stable environment. Somewhere without change. A distant, quiet planet could have aided her healing.

Come to think of it, if she hadn’t flown off so swiftly, the green gem would’ve accepted Lapis’ choice and gone with her. Then she wouldn’t be laying around all day moping. She’d still have her morps, the Camp Pining Hearts box set, and Lapis.

No, no. There’s no use thinking about that. Maybe this is for the best.

Maybe it’s best she left. She can have the peace and stability she needs whilst Peridot can stay and experience Earth. Fight for it, if necessary.

Earth was beautiful. It had only taken a few weeks for Peridot to fall under this planets charm. It was full of life, full of colour. Unlike the kindergartens she previously resided in: Drained of life, drained of colour. Wow. She was lucky to be in such an amazing place.

Then why didn’t she feel happy about it?

Her mind was clouded with thoughts. Replaying the scene causing her distress, as if she may find some answer amongst the events.

Peridot had offered her hand. Surely her meaningful words would get through to Lapis. She could stay on Earth. They could stay together.

But, no.

What a fool she was.

Her tablet would become a useful device for her. Really, it was just a distraction from the bad thoughts. She tried to remember when she first fell in love with Earth. Steven’s song had really spoken to her. Music, yes. That was something to marvel. So, that’s what she searched for on her tablet. A whole world of music was out there. Different singers, different instruments, different genres. Country music was a genre she was particularly fond of. It brought memories of the barn. Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to induce thoughts about the barn, but for that exact reason it made her want to hear it more. As if the music said the words she had in her head for her. In a way, it made her feel less alone. One playlist she’d play on repeat for hours.

Hours grew into days. Days soon formed weeks. All this time, Peridot carried a pit in her stomach. It was as if she’d swallowed a brick, enough to weigh her down and make each step just that little bit harder. At first, she refused to move because of it. After she finally had, though, things got better.

Over time, it was as if a small person inside of her was chipping away at it, fragment by fragment. It became lighter, more manageable. Recovery appeared realistic.

It began with a trip to the Prime kindergarten. Amethyst had hauled her out from the bathtub and together, with Steven, they went to see where Amethyst was made. The certified kindergartener took delight in sharing her knowledge of the kindergarten to the other two. During their visit, they had even tried to garden there. That night she went home feeling somewhat more hopeful.

The following morning, things took a turn for the worse when they discovered their hard work had not paid off, finding a once again barren kindergarten. Regrettably, Peridot took it personally, causing her to snap at Steven and Amethyst. Although she didn’t realise it at the time, this was an important lesson. Yelling had released some of her pent up emotion, which made it easier to cope with. The experience got her talking. She realised opening up wasn’t so bad. The aptly named ‘shorty squad’ would even continue their attempts at gardening.

Firstly, Steven had taken the two gems to visit Watermelon Island. Waves crashed against rocks nearby, scattering salt into the air. When conversing, Peridot could taste the saltiness, a similar taste to that back at Beach City. Although she had lived there a few weeks, she wasn’t accustomed to the overwhelming salty taste that hit her tongue every time she opened her mouth. Vast countryside is where the gem had resided the majority of her time on Earth, which had no distinct taste in the air.

On this island, they would find a village of watermelon Stevens, who were thriving. They had made good use of their small island, now scattered with small huts. Watermelon Stevens of all ages could be seen going about their daily lives, each playing their role to help maintain the village. There were even watermelon chickens walking about, and watermelon horses pulling carriages along the dirt path between the crops.

The crops were the reason Steven had brought them. Although Peridot had farmed before, it was pleasant to watch the Watermelon Stevens tend to their crops. Life here was flourishing, and seeing them work together was inspirational for all three watching from a high point on the island.

Secondly, Amethyst lead the trio to the Gem Battlefields. Upon arrival, it was their smell that dominated their senses. The air was laced with a sweet aroma, catching their attention before the sight that laid before them.

Bushes grew haphazardly throughout the field, previously left barren by years of the Gem War. Specks of white danced around the bushes. On closer inspection, one could see they were small butterflies, ambling along poorly co-ordinated paths between flowers. Flowers were not alone on these bushes: Also on display were strawberries that grew up to a variety of sizes. Many were a standard size and you could grab a few with a single hand. Several strawberries were a handful alone, and some certainly required two hands in order to pick.

The fact that life had regrown here was enough of a marvel without the occurrence of incredibly huge strawberries that were on display. The way the large red fruit sat upon piles of green leaves looked fake, and if you told someone who was not there it was unlikely they would believe such a thing exists. If such an amazing plant could thrive here unattended, one could only imagine the plants that could grow under the supervision of Peridot, Steven and Amethyst.

After a short walk, the three decided to harvest some of the marvellous fruit, then took a break in one of the clearings. As Steven and Amethyst tucked into several giant strawberries, Peridot inspected another. No, she wasn’t going to eat it but merely study it. Perhaps she could engineer more giant-fruit producing plants. What an idea that was. Giant vegetables, too. Giant corn.

The final trip they would take was one to the open wheat fields where Peridot had first crash-landed on Earth. It was silent bar the sharp sound of wind threading between the golden strands of wheat, causing them to sway gently in response. Not only could you hear this wind, but watching how groups of wheat would bend in unison would allow you to see it. It rushed across the fields, producing a wave of gold rhythmically flowing along the field.

Being here reminded Peridot of just how far she’d come. The first thing she had wanted after her sudden re-arrival on Earth was to get back off. She wanted to contact Yellow Diamond and have a ship sent to pick her up and take her away from this doomed planet. A planet she would later come to save. Little did she know back then that she’d team up with Steven and take a drill to the Earth’s core. Or that she’d decide to stay on this gem-forsaken planet. Or that she’d join the treacherous rebels known as the Crystal Gems.

How different life was here.

On their walk through the wheat fields they would find a clearing where Peridot’s escape pod once lay. Steven declared the land as perfect for their little project. After growing some test plants across the next few days, after learning from their previous attempt, the group were satisfied that the conditions were up-to-scratch. Much more suitable than the uninhabitable soil of the kindergarten.

Within two weeks, that plot of land, along with several others, would become home to a whole host of plants. The group now had five gardens growing, each one dedicated to a member of the team.

The wheat field plot remained a site for Peridot. Many herbaceous plants grew, covering the land with green. Several of these plants were aromatic, as the green gem found the concept of pleasantly fragrant organic life fascinating. There was a scattering of yellow, courtesy of the goldenrod that grew, which displayed small, fluffy-looking yellow flowers. Steven had likened them to her hair.

Sometimes she would travel there alone. On one lone trip to the field, she had planted small blue flowers in one corner. When horticulturist in the garden shop had told her the particular blue flowers she was inspecting were named forget-me-not, she knew they would be a perfect addition. They became the most important part of her garden, being the plant she would check up on the most. Never showing signs of deterioration, they acted as a sign of hope.

There was a wide plot dedicated to Garnet. Plants that flowered pink and purple could be found dominating the area, along with a corner dominated by red flowers, and another corner of blue flowers. Heliotrope was one of the plants that was perfect for this plot: it flowered a unique purple-pink colour and was said to be a symbol of eternal love. More pink was provided by Myrtle, planted for a similar reason. The group had also discovered hydrangeas could bloom pink and blue at once, and of course grew that here.

Hydrangeas also grew in Amethyst’s plot, which, along with the Narcissus and Delphinium, were the only plants that looked vaguely organised. Her garden was certainly the wildest. It harboured several oak trees and climbers that grew up the trunks. Vines arched between the trees, blending in with the jungle of plants that grew. A splash of purple was provided by hyacinth and delphinium, which poked through the long grass lawn. Although one might think it was untidy, everything was well-thought out and placed with such intention.

Pastel colours were found in Pearl’s garden. The colours were displayed on small, delicate flowers, such as violets. Predictably, pink roses were also present. The majority of the flowers, however, were white. Edelweiss and snowdrops followed along the winding stone pathway that lead through the allotment. A bush of Jasmine could be found in one corner, just below the young cherry blossom tree.

The garden of Steven was home to a multitude of colour. Dainty white daisies sprinkled the lawn, lilac lead into pansies, which fed into a patch of roses. Red roses, yellow roses, white roses, and any other colour he could get his hands on. Of course, pink roses were the most abundant of all. The trio had even dug out a small pond for Steven. Peridot had done her research to find a way of building a pond capable of harbouring fish, which now were swimming below the lily pads.

All in all, the project became a huge success. Peridot learnt not to give up hope when something goes wrong. Despite their initial efforts failing, their new gardens were thriving. Spending time with others also kept her preoccupied. Being able to talk to others was important for her and the crystal gems had been a great support network.

Steven had an ever-cheerful attitude. Thinking about it, he’d been through so much. For such a young boy, he had great responsibility. He’d been passed down this great legacy from his mother, which actually made him quite a big target. He was an entirely new being, a hybrid. Even recently, he’d faced the diamonds, barely escaping execution. And yet, here he was, getting on with life. He was an inspiration to always smile.

Tough love came from Amethyst. Without her, she may have never left the bathroom. Sometimes you need someone to drag you up from the dirt when you don’t have the strength. It may not feel like you want to move at the time, but when you finally do you’ll find it’s not as difficult as you thought. She was always the first to make sure Peridot hadn’t been alone for too long and encouraged her to get involved with anything the gems would get up to.

Through her own experiences, Pearl was understanding. She herself had abandoned Homeworld to defend Earth. Along the way, she’d lost the most important person to her. Having someone with similar experiences helped Peridot feel less alone. They had shared a few conversations about said topics, which had built their friendship and made them both feel better. Peridot wondered why they hadn’t done this earlier.

Garnet was full of wisdom. Both her components knew how it was to care for someone deeply, though lacked the experience of being teared apart in such a manner. This didn’t stop them sympathising, however. Her level-head helped Peridot calm down in times of stress. Garnet knew how to deal with negative thoughts, each half finding solace in one another. Being connected to other people was important, and she made sure Peridot felt connected to others and finding an inner balance.

Bit by bit, the weight in her stomach faded. Each day she felt somewhat lighter. The brick was now more of a pebble. Though much smaller, it had not gone entirely. Each day she would spend some time to brood over it.

This evening the sea was calm. The rock she was sat upon wasn’t exactly comfortable, offering a uneven, solid seat for her. It wasn’t to bother her, though. Her mind was fixated on other aspects of her surroundings.

Frothy waves swept rhythmically over damp grains of sand, leaving a darkened patch that lightened up again after a few seconds. The process repeated itself over and over. Peridot had observed this for about an hour already, though her mind was not focused on it. Combined with the rushing sounds, the slow movement was somewhat soothing.

Often she’d find herself here, sat on the beach, staring out at the sea. It contrasted to her inner emotions nicely. Such a peaceful night. A quiet ocean. Much different to the ocean gem.

She felt a twinge in her chest.

These days it was a familiar sensation. Before Lapis had left she’d felt nothing quite like it. It took little time afterwards for her to become accustom to it, as it would occur often. The green gem knew she was fine. Yes, she missed the distant blue gem, but time had helped her come to terms with the sudden departure. Rather, this was concern.

Emotions ruled the mind of the water gem. That was why she had wanted to leave so badly. Her fear swept her away. How would she be coping now?

Perhaps she was fine.

Another hit to the chest.

Fine without her.

At least through the time Steven was on homeworld, they had each other. Oh, how worried Lapis was. Despite how much Lapis’ distress hurt Peridot, part of her indulged in it. She would get to comfort her. Make her laugh. Distract her. Instead of worrying, she could focus her attention on Lapis. Cheering her made the technician feel successful. She liked to fix things.

She hadn’t fixed Lapis.

Perhaps she’d be fixed now. Out in space she’d have nothing to be concerned about. There would be no mirrors or prisons to trap her. No gems to fuse with. The diamonds would have to reason to look for her. The environment would be unchanging. She couldn't help but worry, though.

“If she wasn’t okay, she’d come back. And she hasn’t, so she’s fine.” she sternly told herself.

Just like she’d told herself every other day.

The words came out as a quiet sigh. Saying them aloud made them more believable. The stern tone also made it more convincing. It… didn’t really work, though.

Before she was to leave the spot, Peridot took one final look up to the sky. It was a wash of navy, and out here on the beach there was little light on the ground, allowing you to see the stars better. She also had a clear view tonight due to the low abundance of clouds that would usually dust the sky. It was clear enough to see some distant galaxies, a streak of purple to the right, some red down to the left. Some lights in the sky weren’t twinkling, and Peridot was able to recognise those as nearby planets. Regardless of all that may be going on out there, it was all very still.

Searching through the endless stars, she contemplated where the water gem might be tonight.

 


	2. Watching from Afar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A solitary gem begins to wonder if she made the right choice. Her head begins to cloud up more and more, until a visitor comes by.  
> ~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sloooooow update. I suppose this is my story of events for tomorrow's Lapis episode (hyped aaaah). I'm sure it wont go down like this, but it was cool to think about.   
> There's one more chapter to come after this. Hopefully I'll be a lot faster with this, hoping to get it done for Lapidot week on tumblr (later this month!) but ahh we'll see how it goes. ^^"  
> Thanks to those who've already left kudos and especially comments! Hope you guys like this next chapter, and of course enjoy the new episodes!  
> \---

What a beautiful sky. It could not be described with one colour, nor the stars, that hung in it, by one shape. Some of the shapes sparkled - flickering like distant candles. Others glowed softly. Space was so still.

Of all the colours, shapes and sparkles in the skies, there was only one that mattered. It did not twinkle like a star, but spun slowly, bearing large pools of blue. The blue was interrupted by many green islands, of various sizes, and a dusting of white sat in the space surrounding it. Of all the planets in the universe, this was the once she chose to watch over.

Anyone would find the sights of space around her breath-taking. Anyone, but the solitary gem sat watching. All the wonder going on around her was unimportant. Disinteresting. Meaningless.

An icy breeze passed through the air, brushing against her arms. One would find the sensation uncomfortable, perhaps even intolerable for more than a minute. Instead, she didn’t care. In fact, it felt almost soothing. Something she felt that actually made sense, unlike the dull sensation hanging inside her chest.

Was she right to leave?

Maybe she was.

What was the point of this? All this being alone? Who even knows how long she’d been out here? Hours? Weeks? It felt like months.

Perhaps an emotional release would help. Something like crying.

As if.

Despite being a water gem, water escaping her eyes is something she wouldn’t allow. No - she was stronger than that.

Without the release, the dimness only grew, filling her body as a dark smoke. If she had lungs, it would suffocate her. If she had a stomach, she would feel sick. If she had a heart, it would be broken. For all of this, she only had herself to blame.

No, this was the right thing to do. It’s what was best for her safety. Surely it would’ve been the best for Peridot, too.

Why did she want to stay? Earth was _doomed_. Steven had been to Homeworld and escaped. No doubt they’d be coming for Earth now. It would be a war. And she wasn’t going to get caught up in another war. Last time she’d been captured. Stuck to a mirror. Nothing more than a decoration - a toy.

She stood up and made her way into the moon base.

…

Was this really better?

She was alone then. She was alone now.

Ha, it was fine. She wasn’t _lonely_. Alone time was, in fact, quite valuable for her. Besides, interacting with people was exhausting. They were unpredictable. Once she trusted a gem. One she would expect to come here with her. But, no. Peridot wanted something else. It would seem she could only trust herself.

Still…

She argued with herself, just like she had each other day: What was the point of this? How would it end?

Would she go back to Earth and assess the situation? When would she do that? Maybe just wait until everyone was gone? How would it go down? Would they win? Would they lose?

What if they lost?

What if they hurt Steven? Peridot? Pumpkin?

Pumpkin wouldn’t last minutes. He was only a vegetable, after all.

Peridot. She didn’t have her upgrades anymore. She was stripped of her limb enhancers, and though she did have metal powers, she’d been struggling to get to grips with them. To make matters worse, she had insulted Yellow Diamond. To her face. It wouldn’t be surprising if Yellow Diamond went to shatter her herself.

Shatter her.

And Steven. He had powers. He had the Gems. But he was target number one. Sure, the Gems had fought off previous foes. But, if they had struggled against Malachite, would they stand a chance against the Diamonds? Hell no.

Maybe they’d finally get to him. Shatter him.

Ugh, why was she not there to help them?

Yet… how could she go back now, after turning her back on it all? Isolated once again. This time, she’d done it to herself. Just like how she’d forced herself into Malachite. What a mistake that was. She shuddered at the thought. After that, she knew she couldn’t go back to Homeworld, not that she really wanted to anymore.

Perhaps it was time to accept her life here.

The barn sat in a crater of the moon, not far from the moon base she had gone into. Despite being away from Homeworld technology for thousands of years, she hadn’t forgotten the projection orb shown to her as she was tasked with terraforming earth. It allowed high ranking gems to observe their subordinates, ensuring work was done. It took only a few moments for her to relocate it, the base being just the same as it was before she made her fateful trip to Earth.

With her legs tucked beneath her, she sat, observing the Earth projection in front of her. Beach city could be seen. There was no accompanying audio, though she needn’t know what was being said to understand the scene.

Peridot was the focus of the projection. The water gem had positioned herself opposite her hologram. Sat at the beach, the green gem’s downcast gaze moved from the sand up to the Crystal Gems, who were now gathering around her. A small smile tugged at her lips. Despite the comfort the image brought, Lapis could not return the smile. The projection glitched for a moment, the illusion becoming less real. As the colours began to fade, a familiar voice broke the silence.

“So, this is where you’re hiding?”

There, to the side, stood Steven. Lapis jerked her head in his direction upon the sound.

“Steven!” Lapis froze. “I…”

Steven.

Initially, she thought him just part of the projection. What was he doing here?! How did he get here?

Her shock was washed over with a sense of relief. He was okay. He was here.

Wait. Steven’s _here_.

“Lapis, what are you doing up here?”

A wave of guilt washed through the water gem, her only audible response being the whistle of a sharp inhale. In thought, her gaze flicked around the room, as if she would find an answer somewhere.

Noticing this, the boy continued, taking another approach.

“Have you been okay up here? Y’know, Peridot’s been kinda sad-”

“I took the barn from her. No wonder she’s upset.”, she spat out. A sigh followed, as she rubbed her forehead and glared at the ground. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Well, sure, the barn was important...” He shrugged, slowly walking closer to Lapis, who was still sat on the floor. “But honestly, I think she misses you much more than she misses the barn.”

Her gaze went up to Steven for a moment, eyes widening. This was quickly replaced by a scowl to the side, her eyebrows furrowing, and arms tightening their hold around her knees.

“Why would she miss me? I yelled at her. She was just scared of me, and I don’t blame her.”

Steven placed his hand on the now hunched over blue gem. As he went to respond, she spoke again.

“You know, no matter how hard I try, I find myself back here watching again and again.” After a moment of silence, she looked up to Steven. “Why can’t I stop thinking about her?”

He looked back at her, with the same surprised look she had given him moments ago. Instead of a scowl, his face took on a smile.

“You miss her, Lapis.” He crouched down beside her. “And she misses you. Tons. Why don’t you come back?”

“How can I go back _now_? I don’t know if I can face her after all I did. I was such a coward…”

“Hey, it’s okay to be afraid.” From crouching, he sat cross-legged, as he began to explain. “I’m scared too - we all are. But… we all have each other, and that’s what’s important.” His smile widened. “That includes _you_.”

At first, all she could do was blink at him. His words rocked around in her head. They were few: too few to combat the millions of other words rushing around her head. Having each other? As if she really had anyone. She wasn’t a Crystal Gem. During the last few months she had been on Earth she’d never felt part of the group. Well, maybe not that group. There was a certain green gem and vegetable that had felt more like her group…

His words began to disappear in the sea of thoughts her mind had conjured up since her time on the moon. Gems didn’t need other gems. Then why did her seclusion bother her so much? It was safer this way, in fact-

“Lapis?”

The blank expression on her face dropped slightly, and Steven could see some life return to Lapis’ eyes now her mind was back in the room. How long had she been in thought?

“Ah, Steven, I…” Clenching her hair as she began to think of an excuse, his concerned gaze stopped her.

No, no excuses, she decided.

“I-I can’t get these thoughts out of my head, Steven.”

With a small smile, he offered some reassurance. “It’s okay to think about it.”

She shook her head. “It feels so bad.”

“That’s okay too.” He semi-chuckled.

“I don’t want to feel this way.” She muttered down to her feet.

“Sometimes you have to.” The blue gem raised an eyebrow at the boy. “You have to be honest about how bad you feel so you can move on.”

“Move on?”

“Yeah, from the past. From the things that are making you scared. Trying not to think about it just makes it worse. You need to stop fighting the thoughts and instead do something about it.”

Still looking bewildered, Lapis let go of her legs. “But I don’t know what to do. I keep changing my mind about things… getting lost in my head.”

Steven rubbed his cheek, unable to find an instant solution. Instead, another idea came to mind.

“Okay, I want you to try something with me. It’ll be quick and painless, I promise.”

She scrunched her face at him in bewilderment.

“It’s something Garnet taught me, for when I think about the scary things that have happened.” He adjusted himself slightly, still cross-legged, sitting up straight. “First, you need to sit like this.”

Though hesitant, the water gem nodded and copied his pose.

“Now, straighten your back and make sure you’re comfortable because you’ll be sat here for a few minutes. Are you comfy?”

Lapis looked down, shuffling slightly, then replied. “I think so.”

“Okay, now close your eyes.” Doing just this for a moment, Steven re-opened his eyes to peer at Lapis, who had also closed her eyes. “No peeking!”

“Heh,” She smirked. “Okay, I won’t.”

“Now you’re going to focus on your breathing. Just listen to me and follow along.” He paused, then spoke calmly. “Take a deep breath in… slowly…”.

The pair breathed in together, chests rising.

“Then let it out, slowly…” He breathed out, emphasising his vowels in doing so. “Keep going… and done.” Without hesitation, he continued. “Next one. Breathe in… two, three, four, five…” Another deep breath in. “And out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.”

Lapis followed his instructions, focusing her mind on each breath she had. Having to concentrate on long breaths helped Lapis to forget about the thoughts. At least, she managed to keep it up for a couple more breaths until her mind began drifting. As if right on cue, Steven’s voice caught her attention.

“Keep thinking about the breathing. It’s okay if you start thinking about other things - just let them be. Don’t react to the thoughts, just think about your breathing.”

She tried to concentrate on her breathing once more.

“Thoughts might alarm you, but remember it’s okay, you’re here in the present.” Steven paused. “Thoughts are just that: thoughts.”

He opened one eye to peek at Lapis, who was still sat with her eyes closed, breathing slowly. He smiled at this, before closing his eye and continuing his monologue.

“Anytime you’re distracted, go back to breathing. Whatever you did is done, whatever might happen is for the future you. You need to be here now. The present you is in control.”

The two sat in silence for a few moments more. From her steady breathing, Steven could tell Lapis had calmed somewhat. It was time to bring it to a close.

“One more time,” He began to inhale. “In, two, three, four, five…” His soft voice was barely loud enough to be heard over the sound of their breathing. “And out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…”

Silence hung for a moment. A moment of peace and stillness.

Then, Stevens small voice broke in once again.

“You can open your eyes when you’re ready.” He said, opening his eyes and watching as Lapis soon opened hers.  “Wow, Lapis. Good job. How do you feel?”

Sure, she didn’t feel amazing. But she felt… better. At least in this moment.

“Calmer.” She murmured.

“So,” Steven turned himself to Lapis. “What does the present Lapis want to do? Regardless of past or future Lapis.”

She took some time to respond.

“I… I think I want to go back.” She nodded. “I need to apologise.”

“Lapis, it’s okay-“

“No, Steven, it’s not. I need to do this.” She paused a moment, dropping the hint of frustration in her voice with a brief sigh, and smiled at the boy. “I want to.”

The boy blinked at her, then beamed back at her. “Well, I’m glad.”

The water gem nodded. “I’ll start now.”

Steven watched as Lapis stood up, glancing away for a moment, then looking down to him.

“Steven, I’m sorry for flying off so suddenly, and taking your uncle’s barn with me. Also, I’m sorry for stealing the ocean, uh,” She glanced to the side again, right hand stroking her left arm, before continuing her list. “Fighting you and your friends, almost drowning you and Connie, the whole Malachite situation and… anything else I can’t think of right now.”

Expecting some sort of consequence, she side-glanced back to the boy. Instead, his smile grew even wider.

He asked “How did that feel?”.

Huh.

Her deep blue eyes were now flicking around the room. She felt confused. Confused by how her own words had made her feel better somehow.

“It was… kind of good.” She muttered with a blank expression.

“Yeah?”

She rolled her shoulders, noticing the decreased tension in them. “Yeah.” Her head turned to look down at the boy. “Come on, Steven. Let’s go.”

A blue hand stretched out to him.

“Go?” He asked, taking Lapis’ hand and getting up. “Where are we going?”

A small smile tugged at the water gem’s lips. She looked to the door.  
  


“Home.”


End file.
